Ten reason why wives nag their husbands
As a newspaper columnist, I get some of the strangest e-mails. For example, Maryjean Anderson of Tenmile, Ore. likes to end her e-mails with Tada, Tada, Tada, Tada, Tada and always with four exclamation marks. I guess you could say that is her trademark.
She tried to slip one by me the other day by using someone else’s e-mail. The Tada, Tada, Tada, Tada, Tada!!!! gave her away.
She was being a feminist with her politically incorrect message and thought she could hide her identity from her old professor when she sent a pilfered e-mail of the ten reasons God made women. I am sure she plagiarized it off the internet. So I don’t know to whom I should credit this female funny.
Starting with #10:
10. God worried that Adam would be lost in the Garden of Eden because he wouldn’t ask for directions.
9. God knew that someday Adam would need someone to hand him the TV remote. (Parenthetically, it has been noted that men don’t want to see what’s on TV; they want to see what else is on.)
8. God knew that Adam would never make his own doctor’s appointment.
7. God knew that when Adam’s fig leaf wore out, he would never buy
a new one for himself.
6. God knew that Adam would not remember to take out the garbage.
5. God wanted man to be fruitful and multiply, but he knew Adam would never be able to handle labor pains and childbirth.
4. As "keeper of the garden," Adam would need help in finding his tools.
3. Adam needed someone to blame for the Apple Incident, and for anything else that was really his fault.
2. As the Bible says: "It is not good for man to be alone."
1. And the No. 1 reason of all [Tada, drum roll, fanfare, etc.]
God stepped back, looked at Adam, and declared: "I can do better than that."
To that Tada, Tada, Tada, Tada, Tada!!!!, I say:
vive la diference.
She should have done some more research.
Researchers from the University of Chicago have estimated that genetic mutations – the raw material for evolution – occur 5.25 times more often in males than in females. This is why males are more aggressive. God made Adam that way. Of course, as a male, I need all the helpmates I can get.
(Maryjean Anderson was a student in one of Bill Duncan’s college writing courses.)
November 15th, 2005 at 11:36 pm
Male bashing has become the popular brunt of jokes in TV sitcoms, TV advertising (just look at them with that in mind), and now on the internet. That’s what we got when we encouraged “women’s liberation”. It’s called the —–fication of the American male. They think it’s funny until they need someone to protect or take care of them–oh, I forgot, they can do that themselves now, lol.
November 16th, 2005 at 4:52 pm
Is Maureen Dowd Necessary?
The Times op-ed columnist adds nothing to the debate between the sexes.
http://www.slate.com/id/2129290/
“Much of what Dowd observes in the piece is true—the nostalgic passion for the 1950s, the increasing number of educated women opting to be housewives or change their names when they marry, the success of books like ‘The Rules’.”
November 19th, 2005 at 5:15 am
I’m definitely in the the #4 category.
On a historical context, please not that even after the libbers did their thing in the 60’s and onward, burning their bras, etc. — we still find that ERA stands for “earned run average”, not “Equal Rights Amendment”
Rig