A Father’s Day eulogy
By BILL DUNCAN
The View From Here
Since Father’s Day is Sunday, this column may seem a bit strange because it is about funerals. I am the father of seven children and at my age, a funeral is a distinct possibility, but I am not quite ready to go there.
However, in recent years I have attended three funerals in which children gave the eulogy to their fathers and as I sat there listening, I marveled about the gift a father gives his children. I am not boasting that I have lived up to the accolades I heard just this week at the funeral of Lawrence Robert Cummings, 87, in a poetic eulogy written by his daughter, Becky Fowler of Sherwood, Oregon.
I wish space allowed me to reprint the whole poem, but I must just highlight from the five page poem read with deep emotion by his oldest daughter, Sally. Cummings was a slight man, but to his children he was a giant, thus the poem begins:
"Here’s to my loving father
Who stands above them all
I don’t mean in stature
Cause at 5′6" he’s really rather small."
The poem then refers to Becky’s mother, Olivene, who preceded him in death by three years. They were high school sweethearts and stayed that way for 64 years of marriage.
It was because of that enduring marriage that I first got to kown the Cummings. I wrote a cover story for a magazine section I edit for senior citizens.
Becky brought out that love and loyalty in her poem, simply titled "To Our Dad." In my opinion, the love between a husband and wife, is what makes Father’s Day so important to children.
Love and loyality were among Cumming’s greatest attributes. He was already married, a father to Sally, and Olivene was expecting a second child, when Pearl Harbor was attacked at the beginning of World War II. He was working in an essential industry and could have asked for a deferment, but instead he enlisted in the Army.
"Demolition was his game
and look for mines he did
Blew up what he was told
including every bridge."
Becky alludes to the hardships of the family during those war years and the happiness when Cummings returned home and family life began anew. She tells of a song, "Chicory Chic," Sally taught her father to sing:
"We all know dad is happy
when he sings this little tune.
His gleam and radiance would
light up any room."
Her poetic eulogy includes the lessons he taught his children:
"Be kind a loving to one another
Share what you have, give to each other.
When someone you love is being judge
You stand between them and don’t budge.
Lying, cheating, stealing and such
Will turn around on you and hurt you so much.
When you give your word, don’t ever fold.
People will learn that way, what you say is good as gold.
These are the rules
he humbly taught
The ones that he lived by
and gave a lot of thought."
Becky concludes with what may be a fault of all fathers:
"Hugs and showing affection,
communicating too, were not
His greatest attributes in his
accomplishments as a rule.
This matters not you know
as we were always told.
You’re the apple of his eye
and the twinkle always showed."
Becky ends her poetic tribute with:
"I’m sure we all agree
God truly blessed us all when
He made Lawrence Robert Cummings
The head of this family."
All fathers, including myself, can learn from the life of a man I knew simply as "Bob." To be a father you don’t need to be rich or famous, but simply a loving, loyal father to your children, your grandchilden and your great grandchildren.
Should you be blessed to live as the Psalmist said "…to see thy children’s children," then you will understand the meaning in Proverbs, "Children’s children are the crown of old men."
To be a father is an awesome responsiblity.
(Bill Duncan can be reached by writing to P.O. Box 812, Roseburg, OR 97470 or via e-mail at elderstatesmansblog@yahoo.com)