If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it
By BILL DUNCAN
In a Democracy, the majority rules. At least in a textbook version. If that be the case, the 4 to 1 decision on the controversy over my hat in the picture accompanying this column should end the issue. I doubt it and you’ll see why if you read to the end.
Before we get to that, however, the winning essay to keep my head covered came from Gloria W. Best of Roseburg who now is entitled to a one month, free subscription to The News-Review.
Here is her essay:
A new picture of a writer with the name of Bill Duncan not wearing his Scottish clan tam? That is quite out of the question. I like the current photo appearing in The News-Review.
There he sits with pensive expression of face, thoughtful demeanor, sleeves rolled up and ready to get started on the work he loves, both arms lovingly protecting the cherished and thrifty old #5 Underwood typewriter, and all this topped off by his Scottish clan tam. Now that’s a picture that is a picture. Actually, spotting his picture each week gives promise of an entertaining read about the most delightful and varied subjects, and of his observations and opinions, with an easy flow of interesting information and with laughter-and-chuckle-producing humor mixed in.
He writes of nature and human nature with ease. As a long-time reader of his past columns, I understand that Bill Duncan and I are close in age. Old Underwood upright typewriters bring back memories of my first typing job after school and during summer months while in high school in the early and mid forties. In addition to the unwieldy typewriter, we had a transcription machine which used the long, black wax cylinders to record dictation, played back by a long stylus-like point running over the cylinder as it kept revolving, with the sound coming through earphones.
All this was controlled by a foot pedal. These wax cylinders could then be erased and used over and over. They were lined with a felt material and slipped on and off a metal cylinder which turned around slowly. What a change from the technology we now take for granted. As basic and unsophisticated as those machines were, they helped me feel quite important as a new member of the business world. In those years, a dramatic situation wasn’t required to impress a high school student.
Thus, would a new photo add to, or detract from, what Bill Duncan is all about: a Scottish writer with a rare command of words which paints pictures, who loves his old #5 Underwood typewriter, brings joy to this reader each week, and wears his Scottish clan tam?
If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
You heard Gloria. It ain’t broke.
But as I told you, regardless of majority rule, that won’t end the controversy. This week, a letter came to The News-Review that sums up that theory:
"I did not participate in the contest since I do not know enough words to fully describe my dislike of the beret." Signed Ilse Ricketts.
And always one to have the last word, Democracy bedamned, she added:
"Finally Mr. Dunken has learned to spell my name correctly."
Ilse should have spell checked my last name on the miraculous iMac computer I am using to write this column. It would have told her the correct spelling is "Dunce."
Now, you know why I love my old Number 5 Underwood.
I’ll bet it could even spell "Ilse" correctly.
(Bill Duncan can be reached by writing to P.O. Box 812, Roseburg, OR 97470)