Growing old beats the alternative
By BILL DUNCAN A week ago today, my wife and I did a workshop on writing memoirs at a conference euphemistically called “Extraordinary Living.” This is the first year the conference is called that, but the conference has been held at Umpqua Community College in Winchester, Oregon for 26 years under the name “Conference on Aging.” I am a member of the committee that plans the conference and to be honest, I voted against the name change. Perhaps my vote was because while I have had some extraordinary living experiences, I believe aging is the opposite of the alternative. And that in itself is extraordinary. Therefore, I didn’t see the need to sugarcoat the aging process. Anyone my age, or older, has lived an extraordinary life. One of my extraordinary adventures in life was taking the last voyage of the Queen Mary from Southampton, England around Cape Horn to Long Beach, Calif. and later writing a book about the ship. I recall standing alongside the gangway as the passengers were boarding in England and hearing Chief Deck Steward Joe Allen, as he mentally calculated the ages of the elderly passengers coming on board, gasp: “My God we’ve only six coffins aboard.” Allen misjudged the sturdy stock of those last voyagers. Not one succumbed during the 40 days it took for the ship to reach Long Beach. Allen was not the only one who noted the ages of the passengers. Burt Prelutsky, a Los Angeles Times columnist, wrote: “You got the eerie feeling the ship is not headed for Long Beach, but to Heaven.” True the average age of the passengers was in their 70s. I agree with Groucho Marx, “Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.” I have to look in the mirror to believe I am part of that generation, therefore, I have to agree also with Bernard Baruch, who said: “Old age is always 15 years older than I am.” I have often been asked when I plan to retire. My answer is I don’t have time. I have even considered taking a job at McDonald’s so I could get a day off. Recently, I received what some might consider a backhanded compliment, but to me it was on target. A young editor, probably in her early 30s, at one of the newspapers for which I write, said: “I hope I am as enthusiastic about journalism when I am your age.” That has it hands down on the young reporter on that same newspaper who called me “an old has-been.” He didn’t reckon on this old quick-witted has-been’s comeback and turned all shades of red when I snapped: “At least I have been.” I like Stanislaw Lec’s description: “Youth is a gift of nature, but age is a work of art.” Oscar Wilde sums up part of that elder wisdom: “The old believe everything; the middle age suspect everything; the young know everything.” I have been on the Conference on Aging committee for most of the 26 years since the it originated. I have seen the conference attendance increase each year. Little wonder, the U.S. Census Bureau estimates there are 35.6 million people in the United States and about 12 percent of that number is 65 or older. The baby boomers are creeping toward that age bracket and by 2030 one in five people in the United States will be 65 or older, representing about 72 million people. I don’t know about you but I still have a lot of extraordinary living to do. Right now I have to prepare a lesson for the next writing class I am going to teach, keeping in mind the lesson I learned when I took a teaching course from Bishop Fulton J. Sheen who advised us to start every new year with new material. That in itself is extraordinary living. (This old has-been can be reached by writing to P.O. Box 812, Roseburg, OR 97470)
The View From Here