The plural of zucchini is one too many
By BILL DUNCAN I love cartoons. I often clip them with the full intention of pasting them in a notebook, but seldom get that far. I find those clips stuffed in books, sometimes yellowed from age. I was rummaging through a book I have had since 1938 that was part of a correspondence course on writing fiction. Why this particular cartoon clip dated July 1998 ended up in that old book is just one of the mysteries of life. I would suspect I used it as a bookmark. The topic had nothing to do with writing fiction. It was a cartoon about zucchini from the creative pen of Bill Amend who draws the daily newspaper strip called Foxtrot. In four panels, Amend tells the story of the mysterious vegetable called zucchini. His character, Paige, is asked: “What’s the plural of zucchini? Is it zucchini or zucchinis?” Paige answers: “I’m not sure, why?” “Well, given what I’ve seen of Mom’s garden, it’s something that might be useful to know.” Paige turns to see her brother holding an armload of zucchini. She asks: “That’s one day’s harvest?” The brother replies: “One hour’s.” Why I put that cartoon strip in that particular book may be a mystery, but the prolific zucchini is not. Last year I had a zucchini crop failure, so to hedge my bets this year I planted two zucchini plants. I am getting that armload harvest every day from the plant God created as manna from heaven. The wonderful thing about this prolific vegetable is that it can be eaten raw, fried, roasted, grilled, boiled, baked and stuffed. Even the blooms can be eaten. I have tried them all, but I prefer my zucchini cooked. I diligently try to harvest the zucchini when it is finger length, but sometimes I have to end up making Monster Zucchini Bread when one hides behind the large leaves on the plant. In all my years of gardening, last year was my first failed zucchini crop. I blamed it on global warming, but I doubt even global warming can affect zucchini. Because each season created an oversupply of zucchini my family has developed a cookbook of recipes to use up the harvest. My wife clipped a newspaper recipe and called “Zucchini and Beef Piedmontese,” but in our family my youngest daughter gave it a new name – Almost Spaghetti. While it has an Italian name, strangely enough, zucchini is a native of the Americas. Archaeologists trace its origin to Mexico. It was and still is, an integral part of the Mexican diet, known as the “three sisters,” maize, beans and squash. Zucchini eventually found its way to Italy and there got its name. Zucchini is 95 percent water therefore low in calories. Interestingly, however, most of the nutrients are in the skin. Whatever, you think of it, you’ll have to admit it is one of the most versatile plants in the garden. You can cut them in half, scoop out the seeds and make zucchini boats, stuff them with almost anything, and bake them. You can bake a wide variety of zucchini breads, even zucchini pancakes. You can chop them up and roast them in a hot oven with olive oil and salt, add some tomatoes and onions and herbs like oregano or thyme. You can cut them into slices and coat them in batter and deep-fry them or grate them and make zucchini fritters. You can make zucchini pickles. They’re similar to cucumbers and can be pickled. You can toss some chopped zucchini in soups, stews, and chili or just about anything. Now wouldn’t you say that is truly manna from heaven? (You can reach Bill Duncan by writing to P.O. Box 812, Roseburg, OR 97470)
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