A fool and his money
By BILL DUNCAN I have often wondered if winning the lottery would change my attitude about money. I doubt it. Anyone foolish enough to work for $35 a week after graduating from college, doesn’t have a lot of financial intuition. That was my pay on my first newspaper job. When I left the industry as an editor, who was hiring college graduates entering the field of journalism, I was paying $350 a week for beginning reporters. Those novice journalists probably didn’t realize it, but that was worth the same as the $35 a week I was earning thirty years before. Recently Mike Jubal e-mailed me and said he had been “painstakingly sobered on your case in reflection” and promised me if I would contact him via e-mail with certain information, he would clear the millions that were held in trust for me in the World Bank in Zurich, Switzerland and transfer those dollars into my bank account in Roseburg, Oregon. Of course, he needed my bank account information for this transfer of funds. I am glad he was “painstakingly sobered,” because money has never been a primary goal in my life, I wouldn’t want sudden wealth to change my frugal, Scottish way of life. After all, my Scottish Duncan clan motto is Disce Pati, a Latin phrase that translates “learn to endure.” On the back of my clan seal, however, it translates “learn to suffer,” which is closer to what I believe was the intention of my forbearers. Knowing the Scot’s penchant for thriftiness, if my bank account were overflowing with World Bank dollars, I would be miserable worrying about keeping people like Mike Jubal from stealing my money. It would be a constant job just to track the interest and a concern about the possibility of the bank’s failure in these turbulent times. Mike said his fact finding team had submitted their report “which we have studied and found some interesting revelations as to why” these funds have not been released to your account in the U.S.A. That information, he said was that the World Bank had an incorrect bank account number for me. “You are therefore requested to give us the confidence to release your funds into your designated bank account.” Mike said he was representing Alex Anderson, payment coordinator for World Bank, Zurich, Switzerland. He indicated there were fraudulent claimants to the account held in trust for me at the World Bank and I should expedite this request to insure the money would be transferred into my bank account. Now if I were financially astute, I would jump on this offer and send Mike my bank account. But Mike should know that earlier this month, I turned down an attorney representing an estate in England that had left millions to me after a plane crash took the lives of an entire family. The family had no known living relatives, but this attorney had traced me as a cousin that was entitled to the estate. But since I am not financially astute, I didn’t respond to that offer either. I think I will just wait for another stimulus check from Washington, D.C. Besides, if I become one of the high rollers, I’ll miss out on the next round of stimulus money. I might even be taxed to pay for all that stimulus money being paid out. After all, somebody has to pay for it. I have give Mike credit for originality. His e-mail address is mikejudbal007. James Bond is alive and well and holding on to my millions. (Bill Duncan can be reached by writing to P.O. Box 812, Roseburg, OR 97470)
The View From Here