The Naked Truth
By BILL DUNCAN I collect bits and pieces of trivia and recently found an item in a magazine article that intrigued me. The writer thought science should concentrate on developing clothing for men that would automatically disintegrate when it became out of fashion. Otherwise, the writer said men would go on wearing out of fashion clothing. Of course you have to understand the writer was of the female persuasion. As we all know, science has already built obsolescence into appliances and electronics. I would hate see that extend to self-destructing clothing because my closet would be empty. Case in point. In the 1980s, I attended the retirement party for my first managing editor, Carl Swenson, who was ending his newspaper career with the Los Angeles Times. It was a warm August day in Los Angeles and I was wearing a colorful short sleeved shirt. Pictures were taken by the Times photographers for a retirement memory book for Swenson. Ten years later I was the guest in his California home. His wife, Cecile, giggled and dragged out the retirement party pictures. On that visit, I was wearing the same colorful, short sleeved shirt. She thought it funny that I was wearing a shirt that was at least ten years old. In truth it was something like twenty years old. After reading that bit of magazine trivia about self-destructing clothing, I checked my closet. I still have that colorful, short sleeved shirt hanging alongside dozens of my favorite, banded polo shirts, all are at least ten years old or older. The haberdashery industry is getting no stimulus from me. Inside a protective plastic clothes bag hanging in that closet, I still have the Marine Corps blouse for my dress blues and greens, a uniform dating back to the 1940s but I don’t dare attempt to shoulder my way into those uniforms. However, I keep them because I might get recalled someday and I’d be ready with some minor tailoring of course, Clothes are a necessary accessory and I subscribe to Mark Twain’s saying, “Clothes make the man. Naked People people have little or no influence on society.” Twain also said, “The finest clothing made is a person’s skin, but of course, society demands something more than this.” Even David Thoreau thought it would be interesting to see “how far men would retain their rank if they were divested of their clothes” and even advised us not to trouble ourselves about new clothes. In “Walden,” he said: “distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.” However, when society demands it, I can don a suit and a tie and answer all those questions about “whose funeral are you attending?” I have a rack filled with ties in my closet, some narrow and some wide and frankly I can’t tell you which is in style today, so I just choose the one that goes best with my outfit. I am not even sure the outfit I am matching with my tie is in style today. I am conscious about matching clothing because of a compliment one of my writing class students gave me. Marion Young of Myrtle Creek. Ore. said she was always impressed that my socks matched my outfit. That is about as close to a clothes horse that I want to become, even though when I lectute next term I might use a line from Bonnie Goldberg’s book “Room to Write,” in which she tells writers: “Clothing is a paradox: it both covers and reveals a lot about us. It is a presentation that is meant to offset our personalities.” Goldberg told writers to clothe their characters to highlight their personalities in the story. The personality in this story has a closet filled with yesteryear’s clothing and hopes the clothing industry doesn’t develop a self-destructing cloth until he has worn all his wardrobe to rags. (Bill Duncan can be reached by writing to P.O. Box 812, Roseburg, OR 97470)
The View From Here