Moving into the barn
By BILL DUNCAN Last Friday, I attended a workshop, called “Conquering Clutter,” as part of the Extraordinary Living Conference on the Umpqua Community College campus in Winchester, Oregon. Extraordinary Living is the new name for the Conference on Aging which is in its 27th year. When you get my age, it is extraordinary to be living. I took copious notes from what was said by the presenter, Rita Prothero, who is a professional organizer, making her living off a pack rat like me. I savored the ideas she shared, but the proof of the pudding is in implementing those ideas. However, I passed my first test. After leaving the conference, I drove directly to the post office in Roseburg to check the contents of my mail box. It is usually jammed with junk mail, which I usually bring home with me, creating more clutter. Fresh from the workshop, I ripped up each piece of junk mail and left it in the big round file at the post office. I even ripped up a packet trying to sell me another book. In ripping it up to make sure my address wouldn’t fall into the hands of an identity thief I discovered an insert that said: “STOP! Do not break this seal.” I didn’t, despite the warning that it contained a claim for a no obligation free gift package. Long ago, I learned that word “free” is a four letter word, so I just ripped the contents into shreds and disposed of it in the way Prothero suggested. In the workshop, I had promised myself I would join the OHIO Club – only handle it once. I dread to think of how I am going to handle the stacks of paper, magazines, and books in my office if I am going to be a charter member of the OHIO club. This is not to say that I’m not above the task. Everything now and then I go on a rampage in my office and clear off all desktops, the floor and even the storage areas. Trouble is, I transport it from my office to the dining room table. A flat surface is a void that must be filled. But admittedly, I am a pack rat. Not only is my office overloaded with paper, magazines, and books, but also the family room, my bedroom and several unoccupied rooms upstairs in my home, not to mention the garage and a two story barn out back. I told my oldest son, I was leaving the barn and its contents to him in my will. My daughter-in-law had a suggestion, call the fire department and have a practice burn. If I made that decision, I’d have to rummage through all that junk to make sure the fire department didn’t burn up something of value. Prothero said if I downsized “my life would never be the same.” That sounded inviting, until she hit me below the belt. “Your clutter,” she said, “is a problem you are leaving for someone else.” I figure that clutter is just getting even with my children for all the messes they made growing up – some of stuff in that barn is what they left behind. The presenter acknowledged it is hard work downsizing, but when cleaning out, go in to the chore with blinders on and “when in doubt throw it out.” Then she added a stinger: “Once it is cleaned, it has to stay that way.” This neat business is going to be harder than hoarding all this stuff in the first place. I dread it, but my wife also attended the workshop and won the door prize — two hours of Prothero profession expertise in getting rid of stuff. My wife is a neat freak and scoffs at the sign over my desk that says: “A clean desk is the sign of a sick mind.” With that gift certificate in her hands, I am sure she’ll call for a dumpster and suggest I leave home for a couple hours. Maybe, once it is all cleaned up I’ll just move into the barn to make sure it stays that way. (Bill Duncan can be reached by writing to P.O. Box 812, Roseburg, OR 97470)
The View From Here